Sans Sebastienne

by Nicholas Horner

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1.
Something in the way that you whispered Every time he came around Something in the way that you quivered Made me scared to make a sound Something in the way that you lingered Something in the way that he stared Oh, I have to ask, I have to wonder Was I ever really there? Was I ever really there? Was I ever really there in your arms? Was I ever really there in your heart? Something in the way your lips trembled Every time he said goodbye And when he turned, your eyes, they followed after Well, it was more than I could bare But was I ever really there? Was I ever really there in your arms? Was I ever really there in your heart? Something in the way your last ember Dangled from your cigarette And as you faked a smile and sat there alone for a while Like his fingers were in your hair- Was I ever really there? Was I ever really there in your arms? Was I ever really there in your heart?
2.
Hole 04:24
Down with disease, give me a moment, please To get back on my feet again Was this a mortal sin or just some hole in the skin To put me back on the street again? Please forgive me if I’ve stayed too long Please forgive me if I’m coming on strong Call me a fiend for the American dream But now my ecstasy's about to show And I’ll be tattooed in vice and feeling oh so nice Is this the boy that you used to know? Please forgive me if I’ve stayed too long Please forgive me if I’m coming on strong Just give it time; I’ll remain on the line For you to call my name and let me come in ‘Cause this hook that you’ve been placing in me Leaves a hole in the skin Call me a priest, you know I shall be released From the hell my body’s going through When your communion wine drips straight off the vine Yes, I’ll be waiting for you in the pew Please forgive me if I’ve stayed too long Please forgive me if I’m coming on strong Just give it time; I’ll remain on the line For you to call my name and let me come in ‘Cause this hook that you’ve been placing in me Leaves a hole in the skin Just give it time; I’ll remain on the line For you to call my name and let me come in Ooh, you know you’re all that I need, But I feel as though I’m starting to bleed From this hole in the skin
3.
Mother 05:32
Tell me dear mother: was it all in vain Standing here, caught out in the pouring rain When a thousand miles away there’s a face I’ll never know And in the ground you lie these flowers grow? Don’t wait for me to get lost in these memories; These fantasies that I was never born to be When a thousand miles away there’s a place I wept alone and prayed The birds up in the sky would know this grave And with darkness drawing nearer All the pines are singing clearer --- Where does love and life begin For a child you bore in sin? Can you take me as I am; He who’s still unwanted man?
4.
The Body 03:50
Blacked out by 10:38 The taxi’s left the house and you can’t see straight You’re lost somewhere in the groove Your body aches and you’ve got to move it And when you get the chance to move your body You start to lose control But you’re singing: “I keep on dancing and I keep on moving And I wont think about you until the end of the night ‘Cause when I dream it’s you that I’m pursuing And I wont think about you until I turn out the lights” Each time the beat takes you in You forget about the way that she’s breaking you in You got the rhythm, oh you got it in your bones You start to shake and then you start to lose control You’re in the kitchen, you’re dancing for nobody It may be all you know But you’re singing: “I keep on dancing and I keep on moving And I wont think about you until the end of the night ‘Cause when I dream it’s you that I’m pursuing And I wont think about you until I turn out the lights” And tonight when the words call out your name You’re gonna hold tight so these moves are not in vain Saying, “I dont need you anyway” “I keep on dancing and I keep on moving And I wont think about you until the end of the night ‘Cause when I dream it’s you that I’m pursuing And I wont think about you until I turn out the lights”
5.
I watched from afar in the seat of your car In the neon light Just another date that you had to take On another Friday night Wake me up when it’s over At this point I'd rather not go When you take one puff of your cigarette And tell me you’ve got no regrets in the morning You take one puff of your cigarette And look to the sky and damn the world you were born in It’s just smoke and darts and breaking hearts The Italian way that I knew from the start And like my mother said I’d be better off dead Than traipsing around with the likes of you Wake me up when it’s over At this point I'd rather not go When you take one puff of your cigarette And tell me you’ve got no regrets in the morning You take one puff of your cigarette Like you’re father did before you And your father’s father did before him And your father’s father, oh Is this why I sleep alone in the night Is this why I still can’t see the light Is this why I lie on the concrete floor Begging for answers and searching for more? When you said goodbye there were tears in my eyes In the morning Just a child you bore in this endless war of love
6.
Down 04:42
“I’m tired of living and I’m tired of giving” Says this voice inside my head The road I’m traveling it starts unraveling And I cannot see straight ahead What’s the point of living in fear If I don’t get the wheel to steer ‘Cause every time I think it through I start to lose control And it goes down into my soul Maybe I’m regretting what’s worth forgetting And I have my whole life to learn But the road is bending and it’s never ending And there’s a cliff on every turn What’s the point of feeling so alive If I don’t get the wheel to drive ‘Cause every time I think it through I start to lose control And it goes down into my soul And when I don’t know what to do it cuts a little hole And it goes down into my soul
7.
She’d seen it all before and carved it on her bedroom floor One wicker word is all we found And there beneath the lights that held her in the august night We heard the cries and the lullabies to save her from this town When breathing is bereft and looking down mean’s nothing’s left Her fingers cleft were giving way “So do the things you please and leave me with my damn disease That snares the young and spares the ones who’re lost within the sound” Just take a piece of heaven following you down Take a piece of heaven to the ground Just take a piece of heaven to the ground I’d take a piece of heaven following you down Take a piece of heaven to the ground
8.
Stars 03:59
I’ll close my eyes ‘til I see you again And sleep when the evening is my only friend Cause these nights in Texas, they seem to roll on forever I’ve traveled this earth and all that I’ve found Is loneliness scattered wherever I’m bound And you say that these, these are the moments That I’m supposed to treasure? Well, I’d give them all away Cause what good is heaven and all that it holds? What good is living for silver and gold When it’s plain to see that you could be All of the stars in my sky Shining brightly for all the world to see Yes, I’d give it all away ‘Cause what good is fire without a reason to burn? What good is the sun when my world doesn’t turn When it’s plain to see that you could be All of the stars in my sky Shining brightly for all the world to see Shining brightly for all the world to see

credits

released January 26, 2020

Nicholas Horner - vocals, acoustic guitar, piano, keyboards, percussion and programming

featuring the Nick Horner Family

Rob Ritchie - electric guitar
Zach Swanson - bass
Lautaro Burgos - drums

With special guests:

Stacia Abernatha - harmony vocals on “Stars”
Mike Cerqua and Hector Walcott, and Karla Maiden-Vazquez - gang vocals on “The Body”

Live tracked at Studio 42 in Brooklyn, New York by Vitor Hirtsch with additional recording at THC Studios in Tyler Hill, Pennsylvania and Silo Studios on Long Island, New York

Mixed by Jon Rosenberg

Mastered by Chris Muth, Taloowa Mastering

Artwork by Matt Muirhead based on photography by Drew Garfinkel

All songs were written between December 2017 and April 2019 except “Piece of Heaven” which was written in May 2014.

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The Nick Horner Family Brooklyn, New York

A cast of characters rotating around Brooklyn/Knoxville-based singer Nick Horner. Roots rock and folk jazz with a tinge of the unpredictable.

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